Chapter Thirteen - Forgive Me

        So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.
And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you

Reluctantly Robyn put on some makeup and her best dress. She clutched the note from Taylor in her hand and walked up to Mia.

‘This good enough?’ she said giving an unexcited twirl to her bestfriend who was re-applying her lipgloss.

‘Wow, well that will defiantly get his attention’ Mia wolf whistled and turned off the lights to the room and they slowly made their way to the venue. They were seated on one of the balconies above the stage, getting an excellent view. A sudden rush of sadness streamed through Robyn, wishing she was backstage right now getting a last minute practise with the guys. She sat in silence, but inside she was screaming. How could a guy so effortlessly hurt her so bad? She was sick of the lies and the cheating and sat back thinking were her relationship with Tay was going. As Mia babbled on about how Robyn should snap out of it and enjoy the show, the lights went down and a rush of screams lifted the hall. Three figures entered the stage and Robyn only fixated her vision on the one by the piano. Every song was hard to hear as Zac would sing Robyn’s lines and ques. She saw as Taylor aimlessly looked towards the audience trying to spot her or Mia in the crowd. It wasn’t until Mia noticed the look of sadness across Tay’s face when she screamed ‘ROBYN AND TAYLOR FOREVER!’ getting him to look up at the box they were sitting in. Instantly he snapped back into the swing of his usual self and began to sing ‘MMMbop’ to the crowd. Robyn couldn’t help but smile as she saw the kid in Taylor, Ike and Zac whilst they sang that song. Taylor sat back down on the piano bench and scooted around until he was in the place where he felt comfortable and he adjusted the piano mic so it was properly suited to his height. He cleared his throat nervously and started to speak.

“A lot has happened in the last few weeks, some things that I wasn’t prepared to deal with because I had never imagined them happening. And my reaction to those things has caused me to almost lose someone close to me,” he said, prompting the crowd to make sympathetic noises and Robyn to scoot closer to the edge of her chair, “I’ve tried to say I’m sorry, but I haven’t been doing it right. I can’t lose this person from my life and this another attempt. I’m sorry. I really am, and I hope you believe me.” And then, he started to play the piano. His fingers didn’t move across the keys with the same grace as he usually did, Robyn could tell that he was nervous. After a few chords had passed, he began to sing.

Can you forgive me again?
I don’t know what I said
But I didn’t mean to hurt you

I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you

Then you look at me
You’re not shouting anymore
You’re silently broken

I’d give anything now
to kill those words for you

Each time I say something I regret I cry “I don’t want to lose you.”
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.

‘Cause you were made for me
Somehow I’ll make you see
How happy you make me

I can’t live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive

So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I’m screaming inside that I’m sorry.

And you forgive me again
You’re my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt42hh6lce8 – SUCH A GOOD SONG.)

Robyn wasn’t even looking at the stage any more by the time the song finished to loud applause and cheers. She didn’t stand up with the rest of the balcony, Mia included. All she could do was sit there with her head in her hands and cry while Her friend saw how upset she was getting and rubbed her back. Each line of the song, one she recognized as a rare Evanescence track called “Forgive Me” she’d taken a liking to a few years prior, had made her resolve melt.

Robyn tried to force her tears into submission, but failing when Taylor looked up at her. His expression was unreadable, too many emotions present to identify them one by one, but she knew that he was feeling exactly as she was.  

“What’s going on?” Mia asked.

“I think I’m going to forgive him,” Robyn cried.

“Well yeah, I got that part,” Mia laughed, “But are you going to be okay?” Robyn nodded and forced herself to stop crying. She picked up her glass from the floor and drank the rest of it before wiping the tears from her cheeks.

“I’m going to go clean myself up,” Robyn said.

“You want me to come with you?” Mia asked.

“No, stay and watch the show. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” She made her way quickly to the women’s restroom and hoped that it wouldn’t be crowded inside. Inside, she found two girls applying lipstick and talking about how hot the guys looked that night. She rolled her eyes and walked up to another sink and started digging around in her purse for her emergency make-up products to fix the dripping mess her eyes had become. As she pushed her smudged eyeliner back into place and used a paper towel to wipe the run mascara from her cheeks, she listened as the girls’ conversation turned to whispers. A few swipes of mascara and she was able to leave without hearing any snippets of their conversation, a conversation she was sure had something to do with her.

“Feeling better?” Mia asked as Robyn sat down.

“A bit. I just wish I could go talk to Tay,” she said, preparing to zone out to think when a loud comment came from behind.

“Oh god, look at Taylor,” the girl practically moaned, prompting Mia to elbow Robyn, as if she hadn’t already heard the very loudly spoken comment.

“You can look at Taylor with Zac up there? Oh my god,” another girl said.

“Keep dreaming bitches, Zac’s all mine!,” Mia whispered to Robyn, grinning wickedly as she did so.

“They can fantasize about Taylor all they want. I’m the one who sees him naked,” Robyn replied.

“Yeah you do,” Mia said, tapping her glass against Robyn’s. She was glad for the little interruption, because it didn’t allow her to sink into the massive bout of introspection she’d felt coming on right after she’d come back to her seat. There was plenty of time for that later. All she wanted to do now was enjoy the show and not think about what the hell she was going to say to Taylor when they went backstage.

The rest of the concert was amazing. She got excited all over again and found herself cheering and clapping like every other fan when they did their final bows after the encore.

“Are you ready to go backstage?” Mia asked cautiously, and Robyn felt reality sink back in. It was now or never, and she knew that never wasn’t really an option, so she just nodded and followed Mia’s lead.

The song Taylor had sung for her had been so perfect, and it really did seem fitting that he would be able to apologize to her best through song. After so many hours of being furious at him, she knew that she was ready to forgive him because he was finally ready to man up and say that he was sorry. He even did it in front of a room full of fans, which she had to admit earned him some more brownie points. It would have been so easy for him to just record himself singing the song and send her the recording, but he had obviously learned his lesson and knew that he had to do something honest and true. If she had learned anything from him over the years, it was that he was always in his purest form on stage making music. Sure, he might be sending fake smiles into the crowd, but the energy he felt when he performed was something real. And so was this apology.

When they reached the outer dressing room, they found all three guys standing inside talking. The looks on their faces weren’t the usual ones of excitement-laden joy they typically donned after concerts, but they didn’t look upset either. They were simply having a conversation, one that ended abruptly when the girls came in. Mia broke the ice by running over to Zac, flinging herself into his arms and giving him a big kiss. Taylor looked at Robyn and took a step towards her, obviously unsure of what to do next. She made the next move for him and walked forward quickly before wrapping her arms around him in a crushing hug, feeling tears come forth immediately.

“I’m so sorry,” he told her, hugging her back just as tightly. The severity of their hug hurt a little, but Robyn didn’t mind. It needed to be that strong for a reason, as if they needed it to be that way so they would both believe that it was actually happening. After several long moments, he pulled back. “I’m so sorry about the way I handled it all. I was just so shocked I couldn’t see straight.”

“I’m glad and I forgive you” she said, feeling a few stray tears fall, “The song was beautiful.”

‘It was all for you babe’ He said this clasping her face in his hands and kissed her. ‘So will you stay with me? Even though im the biggest idiot on the universe?’ He said smiling at her.

‘I think you’ll do for now.. ‘I need you to survive’ Robyn quoted from the song Taylor had sung for her, quiet cheesily.

With a chuckle from her man she found herself pulled into Taylor’s arms and also pulled away from the group. Before she could smile or tell him how much she’d enjoyed the show, he kissed her over and over, his left hand making its way into her hair, holding her close to him. When he finally pulled back, it was only an inch or so.

‘I have something to ask you..?’ He whispered in her ear. She giggled as she squirmed away, she hated when people whispered to her. It tickled extremely for her.

‘Yes you are the most gorgeous man on the planet.’ Robyn teased.

“That’s not exactly what I was planning to say..,” he breathed and before she could open her eyes or respond, she felt him slip something onto her ring finger. Her left ring finger. A million things went through her mind at once. Was he seriously proposing? Did he honestly want to marry her? They’d only been together 2 years or so.., wasn’t this a little soon? Wasn’t it weird that somehow it didn’t seem soon at all? What was she going to say? Before she spoke, she opened her eyes and looked down at the ring, finding an enormous diamond engagement ring. She stuttered and stepped back as Taylor got down on one knee.

‘What do you say? Will you marry me..? Taylor said it a little louder so the whole room could here. Mia ripped her face of Zac and gasped as she saw this scene in front of her. The room went silent as they watched Robyn analyze the ring in awe and then looking down at Taylor who was waiting for an answer. His cheeks were red, and he was sweaty and wet from the concert but he looked so angelic at her feet. His eyes were pleading as the long silence grew unbearable.

‘I accepted a ring from you before Tay, and it didn’t quiet go as we planned’ Robyn said with a sigh. Taylor’s face looked down in sadness but she continued ‘You better not mess it up This Time Around.’ Everyone cheered and laughed at her clever pun by naming one of the bands successful songs. Taylor jumped up in ecstatic and kissed her passionately. A rush of ecstasy went through the room as everyone celebrated the engagement of Robyn and Taylor. So much so Mia and Zac got talking in dangerous territory.

‘When are you going to propose to me, Zac?’ Mia said, gulping down her 5^th glass of champers.

‘Girl, we can get on a plane to Vegas now if you wanted!’ He said with his cheeky grin creeping on his face.

‘Ohhh no you don’t I want a white wedding, all frills and expenses included’ Mia said punching Zac in the arm.

‘Then you shall have it my dear’ he said nuzzling into her golden hair. She smiled at him. ‘This is all hypothetical right?’ Zac said after a few moments worriedly. Mia looked at him and laughed.

‘You honestly think I would marry you? No thanks, i’ve smelt your farts’ Everyone laughed as Zac’s ego had hit rock bottom. It was way to soon in Zac and Mia’s relationship to be even thinking about getting married. The whole group left the venue in good spirits. It was snowing outside and as they waited to hail a cab on the sidewalk Taylor wrapped the cold Robyn up in his coat and looked into her eyes. Snowflakes rested on her eyelashes and her red nose was shiney from the cold wind.

‘Are we okay now?’ Taylor said sincerely.

‘A bit better then okay’ Robyn said holding onto Taylor as they squeezed into the back of a taxi. Little did they know that they were being watched. In the shadows in a small dark and narrow ally Leila stood there. She angrily scolded at the happy couple as they drove away from the building. A man approached her.

‘Leila Clover-Vogue?’ he said with a scarf wrapped around his face.

‘Thats her, I want it done without any funny business. Quick and clean.’ She said sternly handing a black and white paparazzi shot of Robyn. The man looked at the picture and nodded as Leila gave him a wad of cash in a paper bag. He disappeared into the night. A creepy smile grew across Leila’s face as her cunning plan was finally in motion. Robyn Dollan was going to be murdered

INDEX or Chapter 14